Q reminded himself that he was in a "good place" as of now - that it counted for "something" to be on a stable routine - to be in a facility watched over by able physicians and caring staff, to be part of outpatient services, to enjoy coffee and conversation with Synderman in the mornings, a mid-afternoon walk through the garden, punctuated by extended chats with Dr. S. and those nightly choreographed social hours and "positivity circles" - with some opportunity for reading and solitaire in between. Yes - a routine was necessary, salutary, order-inducing - his mood being more stable than ever before of recent years. Sleep - however - remained topsy-turvy and any sudden change of air-quality or temperature could set him back. His dreams were a little worrisome also...the most recent one involving Dr. Sigmund and Nurse Amanda. It was a cold, foggy, misty room - as it usually is in a dream, a room with big windows looking out onto a massive landscape of dark mountains and twinkling sky. Inside the room was a row of elderly patients languishing - each ensconced within cheaply-reclining, uncomfortable chairs - all haggard, sleep-deprived or barely awake, with empty eyes - staring off into space. And there Q sat among them (!) seeking comfort from Dr. S. "Do you see now the futility of it all..." the good doctor interposed... "despite all our efforts, the various protocols and techniques designed to reach people by means of therapy? What a very high percentage of humankind cannot be brought to a sufficient level of self-awareness - so as to reflect upon their own lives - who find themselves distracted and sunk down in their immediate cares! So very frustrating!" Nurse Amanda asked: "What percentage CANNOT be helped then?" Dr. S. said emphatically: "I would put the # as high as 70%...Those poor drones exhausted by life or moving from one source of intoxication to the next, ensnared by petty dramas, crushed by the weight of work, relationships and traumatic memory and their chosen outlets for entertainment..." "Can you blame them?" "Blame - ? It is not so much a question of blame as of wasted potential..." "What is left then as a remedy???" Q found himself asking with some desperation. "Oh - take your pick..." said Doctor S. "there are plenty of little remedies (for the old!) to go along with their long course of medication and convalescence.... fresh air and gardens, ice cream, bingo, live music, visits from children and emotional support dogs I suppose..." - "But that doesn't sound entirely bad..." Nurse Amanda interposed... " "It is all fine and wonderful as far as that goes - but will anyone of these have known themselves in a real way - will they have understood the trajectory by which their lives have unfolded - and the tragic undercurrents that shaped their journey? One would see that as sort of a prerequisite - no? We will continue to palliate and palliate as we go - but to what purpose - the minimization of pain? And have we succeeded in that?" "I see what you're saying, Doctor," Q said agitatedly.... "I do indeed. But what of those who have striven and still fall short of self-knowledge...We are in thrall to things, led by forces, ensnared by desire - and shall all of that find its resolution in this THERAPY ...these THERAPIES that you speak of?" "But you have striven at least...do you not see value in that" - said the doctor...
On a well-traveled corridor of the East coast - where tourists drive northward every summer on a sleepy (and sometimes dated) old thoroughfare that meanders (roughly speaking) with the shoreline - there lies a coastal village renowned for its posh homes and proud inhabitants - and at the center of this village which boasts of a main street, a historic library and a stately boat landing, a garden shop can be found nestled among costly domiciles - just a stone's throw from the private academy and the gourmet ice cream shop. Set upon five acres of serene commercial flatland - the property houses multiple plants and trees and flowers - providing an oasis of greenery for anyone conjuring up daydreams of bucolic bliss. Set apart from the store - a no-frills wooden edifice - were greenhouses, rows of plants and flowers, larger trees in back and an old modest mansion of a house - still occupied by the family, Estabrook, which had owned the place going back three (3) generations. Th...
Comments
Post a Comment