Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy (definition) = a secret plan by a group to do something unlawful or harmful...

Imagine being born in October of 1962 - when the world almost blew up... You would not understand in real time what was happening, how the world was on edge because of some "cold" (?) war that was going on or the prior Bay of Pigs invasion or all the CIA "intrigue" tied up with that... At such a young age you'd be happily oblivious to the quiet commotions of the postcolonial chessboard - yet that was the marker for your entry into the America of the 1960s. It sounds crazy to say now - but everything actually DID feel very normal back then - at least from your suburban coordinates.  An overdetermined universe as some would have it? The culmination of a bunch of wheels set in motion during the 1950s - a decade that had an important hold over so many, including your parents and older siblings - a time-frame that has forever eluded your grasp except in the form of old photographs, old clothes, furniture, tv shows. And of course, the "war years" and early "postwar years"  going even farther back - an even more subterranean grip upon the psyche of millions... Within this semi-conscious fog, living, growing up in a mid-century modern house - in a former orange grove, in a small city, in the Golden state during those Camelot years... Imagine the calm below the storm... the apparatus of normality chugging along fine only to arrive at November of 1963... Kennedy assassinated out of the blue. You're too young for that to register. People around you, reacting with shock, disbelief, collective trepidation. Cut down in midstream. Not supposed to happen. Everyone (of an age) has a story of where they were on that day and how they heard the news... Talk of a conspiracy... A loss of trust... Manchurian candidate. The enemy within... Cause for paranoia... But life goes on... LBJ defeats Goldwater - apropos of nothing in particular. Ongoing Consensus. Civility. Morality. Respectability. The nightly news. Lip service to the conventional wisdom. People still "dressing up" in public. Speaking the same language...Members of the WASP establishment - setting the guideposts with minimal pushback. And meanwhile back in Riverdale... Forays to the grocery store. Birthday parties. Family meals at the table. Kids playing in the street. Teenagers in cars. Trips to the beach... Trips to Idaho. New music on the radio. The Beatles have conquered America. Life settles down. Still inhabiting that semi-conscious fog. Everything normal outside my window. Even as late '64-65-66.  Suddenly - they tell us - we're in Vietnam for real, but plenty of folks aren't paying much attention. Can't find Vietnam on a map. A former French colony???  Is there even a draft? There's a Civil Rights movement going on; demonstrations are happening, marches, protests, riots...mostly down south. Big events. In California - how does that affect us? Watts burns down in '65, but the fires seem unreal - on television. A strangely stratified melting pot, a powder keg. Grievances. Black power. Chicano power.  Hippies. Counter-culture. Police brutality. Hollywood. Wealth. Celebrity...  L.A. is its own universe - all very far away when you're only 3-4-5 years old. The youth culture is a thing that you can make out from music and fashion, movies and cars - the sheer predominance of young people - the new demographic for advertisers, etc. Watching enough commercials clues a person in. A Summer of Love breaks out in '67 - but you still haven't been to San Francisco yet. In kindergarten - the young teachers use words like psychedelic and groovy. Music on the radio, an endless stream of children's television, and the lives of other kids in the neighborhood. A war in the Middle East - something completely off of your radar. If anyone had mentioned it at the dinner table - you could not place its significance. 1968 is a calamitous year that mostly escapes you... MLK is gunned down in April... following by sheer havoc. Riots and burning cities... Chicago, Detroit, Philadelphia, D.C. ... And then RFK gets slain in June... You remember the teachers crying at school - without explanation. The invasion of Czechoslovakia... Chaos at the convention in Chicago. A razor-close election in November - a victory almost as narrow as the one in 1960! Peace talks in Paris... None of this even registers with you. Astonishing. You took a train to Idaho that year. And that was amazing. Everywhere you go seems calm - or is that an illusion? The amateur filmmaker next door tells you the Russians have missiles pointed at us - able to destroy entire cities... You begin having nightmares - until your parents clear your head of such notions. In '69 the smog in your hometown becomes noticeable - having to stay indoors during the "alerts"... There's a lab doing research at the local college on all of the pollution. The town of R ________ is ground zero for that. The moon landing happens during the summer. You watch that on television - and it's surreal - but you don't really know what it means. The thought of being an astronaut is confusing and a little claustrophobic. Arguments about the war. People arguing - family members. Nowadays there is a draft - and seniors in high school are nervous. And mothers are nervous. Anti-war demonstrations... Scenes of war... Glimpses on the news - actual footage broadcast - searing into collective memory.  The anxiety is somewhat unclear but creeping into the atmosphere. Protests. You hear people saying / asking - is the country falling apart? But nothing in your immediate environment tells you that it is... It's easy to get distracted by a swimming pool or a baseball game. Football. Basketball. Tennis lessons. Musical curiosity. A dormant piano in the living room. Another thing happens during August of '69 - a terrible crime in Los Angeles - but you only hear rumblings about it - not even on the news - because you're not watching the news. Only in 2nd or 3rd grade by now and a friend starts mentioning how there's a serial killer on the loose. Does he have a name? Zodiac or something... So many ghoulish villains out there - suddenly. It's not safe to hitchhike anymore. There's a generation gap. The old don't understand the young... A musical divide - a divide of aesthetics and manners.... You seem to straddle both sides of this Kultur Kampf. The Youth Culture ascendant... Anti-war Demonstrations and protests...  The burgeoning Women's Movement...  Working class resentments... The re-election of '72... We're finally getting out of Vietnam... and you're barely 10 years old...